When the person I'm with overspends

Dec 21, 2021

Love and Money

What happens in your relationship when someone spends more money than you prefer?

Is it alright? Is it an uh-oh? Do you want to strangle each other?

Maybe spending money feels okay to you. Maybe it gets none of your attention. Maybe you’re more focused on where to have dinner (or house renovations – ask me about house renovations while you’re in a relationship, heh).

When you’re dating someone, which side of the coin are you on with spending? Sorry that was a bad pun!

What’s Your History?

I know for me there was a time in my life when I spent even when I didn't have.
I was unclear about my spending, and just covered it with credit cards.

But there was also a time in my life when I was in a relationship wondering, "how dare they spend." I was like the policeman checking for wrong spending!

I had a client who told me about his experience with spending while in a relationship.

“When the person I was with overspent, it made me feel like I was 'not enough.'"

But then if my client spent too much, he would hear shaming from his partner.

"You're wrong to spend!"
"We can get that cheaper!"
"Stupid decision!"

Doesn’t that seem painful?

The Cage

These are examples of the Cage of Abuse. It’s easy to end up in the Cage as far as money goes. Money is something that arouses fear, and fear is The Cage’s most effective tool.

Get frightened, get some ugly beliefs, and BOOM you’re in The Cage.

So let me ask you…

Are you feeling critical of spending? Are you fussing at your partner?
Are you condemning yourself?
Are you stressed by money? 

Do you wonder things like: 'Will I ever be able to actualize what matters to me?
Is there enough money for my creation?!'

Watch out for fear. Fear is The Cage, and it’s not real.

Fear vs Flow

We never want to constrict the flow from the Universe – we want to grow the flow!

If you're in pain? Get a way out. 

And I'll help you - that's the point of Cage Talks, which keeps me facilitating. 

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