Choosing And Committing Are Everyday Things

Mar 22, 2021
It's never too late to break free.

The Origins of ROAR

Much earlier in my life, I was driving in Northern California. It was lovely outside, but I was enraged. I had just gone through a painful breakup. I was so upset I had to pull over. I couldn’t go on without examining my feelings.

Where was it in me?

I felt around my body - my neck, in my shoulders, and downward. Gradually, I started to put words to the feelings. Where was this coming from? I drifted to memories of my parents.

The Origins of Our Operating Systems

I thought of my father, what it was like when he’d come home. My mother would approach him, arms out. They would embrace.

And it was a lie.

I knew there was a lie going on, but I was a child. All I could do was absorb it, like a lesson.

The lesson was “This is love.”

My definition of love was shot through with my parents’ hatred of each other, but that became my definition of love.

How Old Feelings Push Us 

Back in the car, I led myself through figuring out what these old feelings were. I just followed them further and further inside. The feelings were producing such anger.

Anger about what?

I felt unlovable. That’s what made me angry.

The ROAR Technique®


When people come to me, they present me with a problem. It’s something with relationships, health, or money, always those three things. And it always tracks back to when they were little, and made a decision. Like my decision about love, that decision runs like a program inside, under the surface.

The cage is brutal: sometimes we just don’t know what we don’t know. But that’s why we have the ROAR technique®. 

Now what do I mean by cage? I’m talking about the old beliefs, the old patterns, the stuckness. The pane of glass in our lives that is stopping us from continuing to develop.


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